Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
