I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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