tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
that is very illegal...i love you.
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