sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
