Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize