Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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