I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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