a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize