I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
