Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
