I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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