I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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