Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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