it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
