I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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