Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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