Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
What a dumb baby whore.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The ass gains better be worth it
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