if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My life is pants optional.
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