I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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