I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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