let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
