When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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