Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize