i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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