just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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