This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Screwed.edu
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
