We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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