I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
