i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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