Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I think your dad took our porno
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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