they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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