I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
