Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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