from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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