is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We have started to decorate penises.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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