And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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