So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Enjoy the penises
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
