I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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