Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
