how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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