But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
