her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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