GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
