What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
