They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
