I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
