arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
