Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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