There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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