I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
