I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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