Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
