Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
