we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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