is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
